“That’s really interesting, Milton,” Tessa Dennison replied in response to her date’s sudden silence. Tessa scanned the restaurant, searching her mental Rolodex for a good excuse for escape. She had been through enough blind dates that formulating exit plans weren’t a problem. It was more about which would work best given this situation. “If you’ll excuse me.” Tessa dabbed her mouth with a corner of her napkin then rose out of her chair. Milton jerked to his feet, bumping the table and knocking over a goblet of wine. As he chased the spreading red stain with his napkin, Tessa raised her fingers to her temple, before moving away from the table.

Resigned to the safety of the ladies’ room, Tessa took in the familiarity of her environment. She was grateful for suggesting her favorite restaurant, also known for the best Italian food in Woodbridge, New Jersey. Marrelli’s famous cannoli was the only upside to this unending evening. Dreading the inevitable return to the dining table where Milton was waiting to resume his lecture on computer technology for morons, she slowly washed her hands and carefully checked her hair and makeup. Standing back from the mirror, Tessa couldn’t believe she had wasted her favorite navy halter dress on this guy.

“Look, Milton,” Tessa began when she returned, “it’s been a nice evening, but I must call it a night.” Tessa dashed to the exit before he could suggest walking her to her car. At this point, she didn’t care how her departure came across. The thought of facing their mutual friends was the only thing that prevented her from making a quick escape in the first place.

* * * *

The next day during their weekly jog, Tessa’s attempt to forget another less than stellar Saturday night was thwarted by a request for an instant replay.

“So how did it go last night? Was he everything they promised he’d be?” Cara Jenson, Tessa’s best friend from college, never held much hope for Tessa’s blind dates. Over the years, they’d become a source of amusement. They were a light distraction from her own stalled personal life.

“You mean Milton, are you kidding? It was one of the longest dates of my life, only to be surpassed by my mother’s annual spring rummage sale. I was waiting for the excitement to begin so I’d have something to talk about today.” Tessa and Cara’s pace slowed while their conversation picked up speed.

“What did you expect from a guy named Milton? Is your mother setting you up with guys from her age group now?”

“No, he just sounds like it.” Tessa sensed that spending every Sunday morning catching up on the events of the previous week during their jog was beginning to feel like some perpetual experience of déjà vu.

“Based on your romantic track record, are you really surprised that I wasn’t enthusiastic about Cupid’s current pick.”

“Yes, Cara, I know we both have had our fair share of dating mishaps at the hands of our well-meaning family and mutual friends.”

“Exactly.” Using the towel around her neck, Cara dabbed the sweat from her temples with one hand and then raised the water bottle to her lips with the other.

“But are you finding your attempt at taking back control effective? Not to mention immature.” Tessa tucked a rogue strand of curly brown hair behind her ear. Cara had practically threatened every last family member and friend with brutal bodily harm if they even so much as mentioned her name and the word “date” in the same sentence.

“Oh, you mean when I hunted my family and friends down one by one after the horrible date to end all horrible dates?” Cara replied.

“I wouldn’t call it a hunt? They weren’t exactly hiding from you.”

“Whatever. I still got my point across.” Cara shot a look in Tessa’s direction.

Tessa chuckled every time she remembered that incident. Cara, with her long, curly hair and petite frame, didn’t seem like a threat to anyone. Only the flaming color of her hair attested to her true eruptive nature.

Tessa, on the other hand, still held a glimmer of hope that her perfect match would cross her path at just the right time. However, Tessa was sure that Mr. Wonderful wasn’t on the same schedule she was on. When would he catch up?

“What was wrong with him? Too tall, too short, bad breath, what was it this time?” Cara sighed.

The weekly ritual of rehashing dating disasters was wearing thin on them both. Cara knew good and well that being too tall would never be an issue for Tessa. A man towering over Tessa’s nearly six-foot frame was rare.

“Besides the fact that he acted as old as his name sounds, minutes felt like hours when I was with him. He talked about his work incessantly and he did this funny thing with his eyebrow.”

“Eyebrow? Don’t you mean eyebrows?” Cara asked wrinkling her own.

“No. I mean eyebrow. He had one long eyebrow stretched across his forehead.”

“Wait, this guy had a unibrow?” Cara grabbed Tessa’s arm nearly bringing her to a halt in the middle of Ford Avenue. “You know what they say about guys with unibrows?”

“Believe me, I had no intention of finding out.” Tessa continued her trot. She didn’t have the patience to deal with Cara’s self-proclaimed witty commentary today.

“Fine. But no form of torture should be withheld from the asses who set up this romantic debacle!” Cara sprinted to catch up with Tessa who was several feet ahead now.

“Violence is the answer to everything, isn’t it, Cara? It’s shocking some guy hasn’t snatched you up by now.”

“Oh, the follicly-challenged wouldn’t stand a chance. Let me ask you, what’s my alternative? Date loser after loser like you?”

“Hey, those with temperamental follicles aren’t the only targets of your wrath. Besides, our friends are responsible for these guys you so affectionately refer to as losers. They keep setting me up with these jokers.” Tessa loved the rapid retorts that frequently flew between her and Cara.

“Why don’t you take responsibility for your own love life for once? It’s beyond my comprehension that you can pass every securities exam placed before you, shatter every black female stereotype, and deliver an investment plan without breaking a sweat, but you can’t seem to snag the male catch of the day.”

“Pretty mature words coming from the one-woman butt-kicking machine.”

Cara rolled her eyes. “What are you afraid of? You can’t do any worse than our friends and family have so far.”

“You know what? I think you’re right. Maybe catching a man is just like catching fish. Have we been using the wrong bait all this time?”

“Honey, it’s the same bait that’s been snagging men for centuries. So it’s not that. You’re just not using the right rod.”

Determined to change her romantic results, Tessa refused to allow Cara the opportunity to be an idle spectator heckling her every effort. “Don’t worry, you’re not in danger of losing your Sunday morning chuckle. As a matter of fact, Sunday mornings may become more interesting than ever.” Tessa laughed  and transformed her trot into a sprint, leaving her friend to chase after her.

* * * *

After the jog, Tessa headed back to her apartment. On the way, she began to plan how she would put her idea into motion. Truthfully, Tessa was tired of everyone else manipulating her love life. However, she knew once she took control of whom she dated, there would be no one to blame if her dates remained toads after the good-night kiss.

Putting her apartment key into the lock, the phone rang from inside. She knew if she didn’t get it quickly, the caller would probably hang up without leaving a message then try her cell next. While turning the lock, Tessa heard the squeak of a door down the hall opening. It was Justin Martin, who lived two doors down from her. Justin was a childhood buddy who often gave Tessa a glimpse into the inner mechanics of the male mind.

“I thought that was you coming in.” Justin stepped over the threshold of his apartment. What kind of trouble did you get into?” Tessa watched him come into full view. Noticing his wheat-colored hair was wet at the temples and the collar and armpits of his red Rutgers T-shirt were damp with perspiration, she studied the direction of his eyes, which appeared to be focused on her tight gray tank top and short navy running shorts. It was obvious to her from his glistening slightly tanned skin, that he had been lifting weights. Running into Justin, all sweaty with every taut muscle tightly exposed, made her head spin, leaving her to wonder why they were still only friends.

Feeling a little uncomfortable by her sudden intense focus on Justin’s body, Tessa’s dating misfortunes were obviously taking a toll. “Not now, my phone’s ringing.” She cut him off and opened the front door, reaching for the phone in record time.

“Hello? Hello, are you there?” Unfortunately, she was not quick enough which was evident from  the sound of a click ringing in her ears and the dial tone that soon followed. “Damn.” Tessa muttered returning the receiver to the base. When she turned to close the front door, the phone blared again.

“Hello,” Tessa answered on the second ring.

“What took you so long, or do I want to know?” Justin was good at letting the innuendos fly. At thirty-two years old, he still had yet to learn that clever banter didn’t have to allude to sex.

“You just saw me a few minutes ago, what naughty thing could I possibly accomplish in such a short amount of time?”

“Do you really want an answer to that?”

“Oh, I forgot. I am speaking to Mr. Minuteman himself,” Tessa replied, twirling that same rogue hair that kept coming loose.

“Hey, I’ll assist you in conducting the research to substantiate that claim anytime you want!”

“Anyway, I just got back from my weekly jog with Cara, smarty. What are you up to this fine Sunday?”

“Don’t try to change the subject, you know why I’m calling. What’s the matter, didn’t get enough exercise on your date last night?” As far as Tessa was concerned, Justin seemed to gain too much pleasure from her disastrous dates.

“Let’s see, should I start with the computer science lecture or the unibrow?”

“Don’t bother, I got a complete picture once you mentioned the unibrow,” Justin interrupted. “Sorry he was such a loser.”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound sorry,” Tessa challenged.

“Of course I am,” Justin asserted. “But I could have told you this date was a waste of time. Since when are women the only authority on dating?”

Justin made an excellent point. Jenna, another childhood friend, married her first boyfriend and Tessa’s sister Stacey preferred selecting mates from her own gender. Cara had completely given up on finding a husband, plus Tessa couldn’t forget Aunt Jane, who was trying to hold marriage number four together. Finally, there’s her mother, Lorraine, a different story all together. While she’d been married to Mr. Dennison for over thirty years, she had practically worn him down to complete emotional submission.

“I know. I guess I keep hoping they’ll introduce me to Mr. Wonderful, even if only by accident.” Tessa sighed.

“That’s what I love about you, Tessa . . .”

“What’s that, my foolish optimism?”

“That’s a good point, but no. It’s your ability to look for the best intentions in people. Then again, I guess that’s the same thing, isn’t it?” Justin erupted in a roar of laughter that pounded Tessa’s eardrums.

“Very funny. I’m glad my pathetic love life is so entertaining. Is there any other reason you called or are you just in the mood to give me a hard time?” Tessa leaned against the roll top desk where the telephone base sat.

“Now, now, be a good sport. It’ll all come together at just the right time. Maybe the source of your romantic happiness is closer than you think.”

“Wow, my two best friends are just a wealth of wisdom today. First, Cara suggested I take control of my love life, and now, you are suggesting that the answer to my prayers may be right under my nose. Since when did you two become so wise?” With cordless in hand, Tessa made her way to the desk where her desktop computer sat. “I do believe I am ready to take charge of things now. After all, spring marks love’s new beginning!”

“Oh, really. And just what do you have in mind, Tess?” She sensed Justin’s inquiry had an air of anticipation.

“You’re the first to hear this because I will need your assistance,” Tessa began.

“This sounds good.” There was that sense of rising excitement again. Tessa was sure she heard it that time.

Hooking up her broadband connection, the next sound heard was Tessa’s computer emitting various beeps and boops. After a series of audible clicks, Justin interrupted.

“I thought you were going to tell me this master plan. Have you lost interest already? That’s just like you. What are you waiting for?”

“Your mood shifts are really obvious. Relax. The Internet is part of the plan. Besides, whether you realize it or not, the whole world is just a click away. I hate to break it to you but this electronic connection to that world is here to stay.” Tessa knew her patronizing tone would only annoy Justin more but she would reveal her intentions when she was good and ready.

“Well, let’s get on with it.” Justin’s patience didn’t seem to be running out, it was gone.

“The more you interrupt, the longer it will take. Now, I use the Internet for nearly everything. From grocery shopping to job-hunting, I do it all through this little black cable connected to my faithful computer. Hell, you’re the only one who still insists on calling me despite the fact that you live down the hall.”

“Would you get to the point? I am losing interest fast.”

“Fine, you little boy. My point is this, if I spend so much time on the Internet for both work and personal reasons, why not use this resource to better manage my love life?”

“That’s your big idea? Don’t you have to have a love life before you can manage it?” Justin’s ranting was beginning to work Tessa’s nerves. Obviously his earlier excitement had completely dissipated.

“If you’re finished, I’d like to continue.”

Please don’t let me stop you!”

Tessa realized it was going to be difficult to remain civil. Due to the intensity of their friendship, strangers had often mistaken them for a married couple. She was determined to keep this conversation going, since his participation was crucial.

“Tell me, Justin, how did the last three married couples in our circle of friends meet?”

“Sorry, hon, I don’t bother with the romantic details of all my friends.”

Despite Tessa’s efforts to keep things light, there was enough tension coming across the phone line to snap a steal rod.

“Oh, but you made a special call to inquire about mine?”

“Come now Tess, you’re one of my closest friends, and besides, happily ever after isn’t nearly as interesting.”

“Again, I’m glad I could oblige, but the point I am trying to make . . .”

“Rather slowly, I might add,” Justin muttered.

“As I was saying,” Tessa continued, “these couples met on the Internet. Patty and Bryan met through an online auction transaction—”

“Yeah, and I still tease Patty about what she was really selling.”

“Very cute. Anyway, Doug and Chrissy met on a dating web site and James and Brenda connected when they both joined the same reality show chat room. If these personal examples aren’t proof enough, I am sure I can dredge up some stats on the marital success rate of these dating sites.”

“So? All you’ve proven is that we have some real pathetic friends. Besides, shouldn’t you wait to see how long these marriages last before you jump on the bandwagon?”

Tessa shook her head. That was Justin, always full of optimism. “Give me some credit, will ya? I don’t know about you, but I am tired of going to other people’s weddings. I want someone to share my successes with, someone to encourage me to keep going when I fail.”

“Oh, forgive me. I thought that was a job for Cara and me.”

“You know what I mean. I need someone closer than that.”

“Fine, it’s your time to waste. But you have still failed to explain to me how and why you expect me to get involved.”

Tessa knew she had to act quickly to smooth Justin’s feathers enough to count on his assistance. “I understand why you’ve been pissing on my parade, Justin. But, I really have thought this through. You want to know where you come in? I know there are lots of crazies out there. Of course with the Internet, one doesn’t have the benefit of body language and perception to weed out the ax murderers. But you, my dear, will act as my personal screener.”

“Well, it looks like you’ve got it all figured out.”

“I think I’ve covered everything.” Tessa leaned back in her chair feeling satisfied.

“Really, Tess? Then tell me why would I screen these men for you? I’d like to think I have something better to do.”

“The fact is, you don’t! But that’s why I love you. You’re like the big brother I never had.”

“Excuse me, I do have a job, friends and maybe I’d even like to find a relationship of my own.”

“Well, don’t you see? This is perfect. We can screen each other’s potential dates.” Tessa was beside herself with excitement.

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” Justin sighed.

Tessa noted that Justin had an unmistakable hint of defeat in his voice. “Now you’re catching on. I’ll let you think about how perfect this idea is, but realize your resistance is pointless.”

“There’s no need to pacify me with a twenty-four-hour-grace period. I’ll do it under a couple of conditions.”

“Name ’em.” Tessa sat up in her chair.

“I pick the activities, and I have to come along with or without a date of my own.”

“I don’t need a chaperone.”

“Then exactly how did you expect me to screen these dudes? Besides, I have no interest in witnessing your sorry attempts at seduction.”

Tessa knew how to handle Justin’s way of pointing out the weaknesses of others when he didn’t get his way. But due to her lack of any decent dating results lately, she felt less inclined to refute his sour remarks.

“Honestly, I thought you would screen them from the Web site. I would tell you which guys interest me, and you’d scrutinize their profiles.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?” Tessa thought this plan was easy enough.

“If you insist on involving me, then you must allow me to have some say in how I screen these guys. After all, a perfect con artist can snow the stiffest skeptic any day with an Internet profile. When we’re not double dating, I won’t be on the date with you. I’ll be a silent observer in the background.”

Tessa pictured Justin at that very moment leaning back on his couch, his sparkling blue-green eyes darting across the ceiling while resting his feet on his coffee table with not a care in the world. She imagined that Justin had peeled off that sweaty t-shirt by now and was lounging in all his bare-chested glory.

“This better not be your twisted attempt at playing detective.” Tessa had no intention of letting Justin use her love life for his own amusement.

“So what if it is? Just remember who’s asking the favor here. I have always wanted to be on a stakeout.” It took a little while, but it was apparent that Justin had finally found a silver lining after all, and Tessa didn’t like it one bit.

“It sounds like I’m the one who needs the twenty-four-hour-grace period,” Tessa muttered.

“I do believe you’ve run out of cards to play, my dear.”